Everything
by Chozen Rogue
Summary: Dani wants everything; Charlie wants nothing. A Dani Reese character study with slight Creese Crews/Reese overtones.
1. Filters in Neon

**Everything Series 1/4**

**Title:** Filters in Neon

**Rating:** M, just to be safe

**Characters:** Reese (character study), Crews/Reese

**Summary:** Reese wants everything, Crews wants nothing.

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own the characters of Charlie Crews, Dani Reese, or any other affiliated with Life. I only borrow them for my selfish acts and intend no harm. Also, the lyrics belong to Buckcherry's fantastic song, "Everything."

**A/N:** This story came to me first as a fanvid idea (still planning on doing one) but then morphed into a full fledge fic in the planning. It's my first foray into the Life fandom and so I need some critique. But please, smart critique only.

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_-- Buried way beneath the sheets I think she's having a melt down  
-- Finding it hard to fall to sleep she won't let anyone help her  
-- The look on her face, a waste of time  
-- She won't let go, gonna roll the dice  
-- Losing her grace, starts to cry_

Dani shielded her eyes against the flashing neon glaring at her through the curtains. Her head was pounding with every beat of its pulse and she suddenly had the urge to run to restroom... Where ever that was and however disgusting it was.

Not only did her head feel like a piece of wood that had been cleaved, but her mouth felt like carpet and her body had that numb feeling she associated with alcohol, drugs and nameless sex. She could feel his body next to hers, feel the empty warmth that emanated from his form but lacked the strength to move out of the bed and away from it.

She hated coming down from the high of sex and the buzz that way too many drinks gave her. It made her feel dirty, cheap, old, and all the things she knew she was. But she didn't care, never had; only wanted the dull ache of living to cease, even if it was for a few hours.

She didn't want to be alone and she could never deal with it sober. Not since then...

The springs of the bed lifted as her one-night stranger sat up slowly with a grunt and she could feel him look over his shoulder at her. Unconsciously, she feigned sleep and moved deeper into the thin motel sheets. Evidently, he bought it or didn't care, because he started round the room looking for his clothes. He even disappeared into the restroom.

As she listened to him take a piss, the sound echoing loudly in her skull, Dani noticed white residue against the black of the night stand. '_Oh, fuck…_'

She felt her heart start to pound in her chest, and the blood rushed in her ears, making her even more nauseas and cling to her stomach. Was the blow his? Had he done it? Had she?

'_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…_'

She felt the bile rise in her throat as he came around to the night stand where the white crystals were left and put a fifty down; he whispered, "Thanks for the night." She was sure he thought she was asleep still and shuddered as he left the room, letting the neon flood the room and causing her to wince back the pain.

Suddenly, she propelled herself across the ruffled sheets that smelled of sex, booze, and mistakes towards the bathroom. Throwing herself against the white porcelain, she finally let go and let the pain exit her body with vomit and tears.

She sat there for what seemed like hours, breathing in the scent of sickness and stale urine and making her feel like she were on a tilt-a-world. Opening her eyes, she decided that she was going to go into shock if she didn't move and put some clothes on… It was too cold on the tile floor with no clothes, and she was crashing.

She dragged herself towards the bed, gathering what clothes she came across, which consisted of her panties, socks, and shirt. Putting them on slowly, she looked around for her pants and spotted them near that damn night stand with the evidence of her down fall. After rummaging around in her pockets, eyes shut tight against the pain in her head, she found her cell phone and flipped it open.

Not even looking, Dani hit the first number in her speed-dial.

_**-- **I feel her pain when I look in her._

"Uh, hello?"

"Crews, this is Reese." She knew from the sound of his voice, he was probably in bed and half-asleep around the girl of the night. Dani remembered how that thought use to put a smile on her face; even the Zen master himself had vices.

"What's wrong?"

And she did grin, even if was empty, at his suddenly alert voice, "Nothing, I just need you to come and get me." She heard the question begin on his lips and started again. "Crews, just shut-up for once and come and get me."

"Where are you?"

Dani knew exactly where she was; no other motel in L.A. had this wallpaper. She had used it as a place to get high once upon a time.

'_Well, at least it had been once upon a time_,' she thought as she ignored the evidence on the night stand.

After he had the address and had hung up, she leaned against the headboard. She didn't care that she was half-clothed and sitting next to cocaine residue, let Crews think what he wanted to; everyone else did and had.

Dani sat there and watched the neon filter through the curtains.

_-- I wanna be, I want everything  
-- I want everything_


	2. Existing as Nothing

Thank you for the reviews! This story is already written, so I should have fairly fast pacing in getting them up! Enjoy!

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**Pt. 2 of the Everything Series  
****Title:** Existing as Nothing  
**Rating:** M, just to be safe  
**Characters:** Reese (character study), Crews/Reese  
**Summary:** Reese wants everything, Crews wants nothing.  
**Disclaimer:** I in no way own the characters of Charlie Crews, Dani Reese, or any other affiliated with Life. I only borrow them for my selfish acts and intend no harm. Also, the lyrics belong to Buckcherry's fantastic song, "Everything."  
**A/N:** This story came to me first as a fanvid idea (still planning on doing one) but then morphed into a full fledge fic in the planning. It's my first foray into the Life fandom and so I need some critique. But please, smart critique only.

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_-- Somewhere she is on the streets trying to make things better  
-- Praying to God and breathing deep  
-- Gotta break this long obsession  
-- The look on her face, a waste of time  
-- She won't let go, gonna roll the dice  
-- Losing her grace, starts to cry_

She hated stakeouts.

She hated being in enclosed spaces.

She hated sitting there for hours with nothing to do.

She hated the cravings she got.

She hated him.

She hated the sickly-sweet smell of orange.

She hated the sound of his knife cutting into the fruit.

She hated the sounds he made as he ate.

She hated the sound of him talking.

She hated Zen.

She hated how much she was beginning to not hate him.

She hated stakeouts.

"Crews?"

He stopped his mental wonderings with his mouth long enough to look at her and say, "What? You see him?"

Sighing, she rubbed her brow and fixed her eyes on the entrance to the house they were watching. "No, but if you keep talking, that fruit won't be the only thing in this car being sliced, and I don't care if it's not here, or you, or me!"

His eyes blinked and stared ahead, and then his hand popped into her line of sight, making her jump slightly. "Peace offering?"

Crews was holding a piece of orange in front of her nose. She threw a glance at him and he just shook his hand and nodded to the slice. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the fruit piece and said, "I thought the orange wasn't here?"

"It's not, but it still tastes good." He had the strange little-boy smile plastered on his face that expanded even further, till it made her wince at the brightness, when he saw her take a bite. "I told you."

She couldn't help the tug at the corner of her mouth. "You do realize that you make no sense to normal humans? Nonsense is all that's ever coming from you."

If possible, his smile got brighter; at this rate, Reese was going to have to open the door and puke soon. "Normal humans don't exist. You and I are not here."

She could have hit him.

Soon, the car was filled with silence as Crews finally finished his orange and settled down. Reese took the opportunity to rest her eyes a bit; she knew he was watching the door and relaxed.

When she felt the car shift as he adjusted his position in the seat, she slit her eyes and studied him. There were few moments when it was quiet around him, Dani was sure that it had to do with anxiety. Perhaps being in one room or a small place for a long time was too much for him, reminding him of a time when he didn't have a choice on whether or not he could leave.

She knew what that felt like, to not have a choice, which was why he was still her partner: why she hadn't ratted him out.

She had never met anyone like Crews: someone as fucked-up as she was. Of course some people saw it in Crews but others thought he was okay now that he had caught the killer who he had gone to jail for. People automatically assumed that made twelve years disappear.

Sighing, she leaned her head against the window as he turned to look at her. Her breath caught in her throat as he held her eyes, which were still half closed. "I think I know what those twelve years felt like."

"To know yourself is to know hell." He had turned his head back to the house. "We both know what hell is, don't we Reese?"

"Yeah, I guess we do, Charlie."

At the sound of his name on her lips, his eyes shot back to hers. "You still have a chance, Dani, to leave hell; to leave it in that motel room back on that dresser."

"And what about you?" She shot back and tried to ignore how weak her voice sounded. So he knew about the coke. Of course, Dani had no idea if she had actually done any, her memories were still hazy, but it didn't change the fact that it was there. Plus, he now knew what she did every Friday night when she got off work and wouldn't be back the next day.

Crews just stared at her with that look that made you feel as though the entire universe could see right through you, and perhaps he could. "I don't know if I can," and then he smiled that sad grin of his, "I haven't had my dance with the devil yet."

She couldn't take anymore. Opening the door, she threw a quick, "Cover for me until I get back."

And with that, she slammed the door shut and started walking down the street.

She felt exhausted and worn out from their conversation, actually no, that wasn't being honest. He wore her out simply by talking. He got under her skin about the simplest things and yet, this time…

This time he had hit his mark, and she knew that he knew. She had danced with the devil that night; the night that she had been at her lowest and just looking for the next hit, never caring that her lover was dead beside her.

She felt raw as she finally collapsed into a bench that stood by itself in someone's yard. She hated him. Pure and simple, she hated him for how right he had always been about her. He read her like an open book.

She felt the tears sting her eyes as she fought them back. Dani knew how this book would end though: face down in some motel bed with the roaches as her friends. And at that image, she broke.

_-- I feel her pain when I look in her._

It was close to an hour before she made her way back to the car and settled herself back behind the steering wheel. Crews watched her as she tried to focus her attention back to the house they were suppose to be watching. She dared him to say something as she felt his gaze on her skin and held back the impulse to shudder, yet finally it slid off of her and back onto where hers was pointed.

He didn't say another word until she dropped him back at his house after they were relieved. And as she waited for him to make it up the long walk up to his front door, Dani stared at the little angel still glued to her dashboard.

She hated stakeouts.

-- I wanna be, I want everything  
-- I want everything


	3. Dancing with the Devil

Thank you again for those who are reviewing and faving! It means a lot to me!

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**Everything Series 3/4**

**Title:** Dancing with the Devil

**Rating:** M, just to be safe

**Characters:** Reese (character study), Crews/Reese

**Summary:** Reese wants everything, Crews wants nothing.

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own the characters of Charlie Crews, Dani Reese, or any other affiliated with NBC's Life. I only borrow them for my selfish acts and intend no harm. Also, the lyrics belong to Buckcherry's fantastic song, "Everything."

**A/N:** This story came to me first as a fanvid idea (still planning on doing one) but then morphed into a full fledge fic in the planning. It's my first foray into the Life fandom and so I need some critique. But please, smart critique only.

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_-- If I had everything would I still wanna be alive?  
-- Oh, wanna be high_

She stared down at the kit.

A kit equipped with everything a junkie needs: a spoon, a lighter, a belt, a syringe, and a packet containing ecstasy.

She really couldn't remember how she had gotten here. Picked up by some young singer who had been performing at the bar and then after a few drinks had headed towards the motel she knew by heart. Nameless sex on the stiff sheets and in the afterglow, a knock on the door and money had traded hands.

Next thing she knew he had brought in some stuff from his car and she had lost consciousness due to far too much alcohol, only waking up to him getting dressed and asking her if she wanted a hit; a payment of sorts for being such a good fuck.

Just like the fifty.

She didn't remember saying yes or maybe he hadn't cared, because there it was; a gift from her singer.

She started shaking violently as she bent to pickup the packet. In her other hand, she held her cell and hit her speed-dial.

-- Now and then she talks to me  
-- And sometimes writes me letters

"Crews."

So he was up and laughing with someone; she could hear the grin in his voice. "Crews?" She winced when she heard her voice crack and something hit the floor with a loud crack over the line. Dani was also sure she that heard Ted asking him what the fuck was his problem in the background.

"Reese, where are you?"

Her gaze wandered the room and then rested on the half-filled baggy in her hand. "In hell."

Her eyes went upward and then closed as if in prayer when she heard the rustling of a jacket and keys jangling. "Hang in there, Dani." Some order was shouted to Ted that was muffled by a hand on the mouth piece and then, "We're on our way, but I need you to stay on the – "

She folded the phone shut, effortlessly shutting his voice off. For once, he was muted.

_-- The look on her face a waste of time  
-- She won't let go, gonna roll the dice_

Dani felt numb suddenly as her eyes locked on the little packet again. It would be so easy, just one more hit before he came; she started forwards to take up the spoon.

Suddenly, the phone went off next to her thigh and startled her back against the headboard, dropping the packet in the process. As she felt the vibrations and heard the grating tone of the ringer, she kicked at the sheets, trying desperately to get the kit out of her sight.

Once it was covered, she burrowed between the pillows; hoping that it would somehow muffle the voices begging her to give in to hell.

To help drown out the screams.

_  
-- Losing her grace, starts to cry  
-- I feel her pain when I look in her._

Soon there was a commotion at the door that made Dani look up. Crews came bursting through the door a few moments later with Ted saying, "Calm down, Charlie. You're gonna get the police called!"

"I am the police," was Charlie's only response as he took in the scene before him.

Christ, she realized she didn't even have on clothes this time as she saw him wince slightly. Just socks and a pillow that was being clutched to her chest; she heard rather than saw Ted make a sound and excused himself without bothering to close the door.

"Charlie…"

And with that, he bounded to her and sat on the bed. At the touch of his hands cupping her face, she couldn't hold back anymore.

Grabbing his shirt, she pulled him towards her and linked her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. She didn't care what he thought; she didn't care how this would look in the morning. All she cared about was that when he held her, she felt safe; even if for a moment.

For his part, Charlie didn't ask about the needle lying next to his thigh.

-- I wanna be, I want everything  
-- I want everything


	4. Reflecting in a Broken Mirror

Thank you for all the lovely reviews! You guys are amazing and I'm glad I was able to get the characteriazation at least somewhat right. This chapter is by far the longest and was also the hardest one to write - so I hope I did good in ending the story. I know, no more - so sad...

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**Everything Series 4/4**

**Title:** Reflecting in a Broken Mirror

**Rating:** M, just to be safe

**Characters:** Reese (character study), Crews/Reese

**Summary:** Reese wants everything, Crews wants nothing.

**Disclaimer:** I in no way own the characters of Charlie Crews, Dani Reese, or any other affiliated with NBC's Life. I only borrow them for my selfish acts and intend no harm. Also, the lyrics belong to Buckcherry's fantastic song, "Everything."

**A/N:** This story came to me first as a fanvid idea (still planning on doing one) but then morphed into a full fledge fic in the planning. It's my first foray into the Life fandom and so I need some critique. But please, smart critique only.

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_-- You know I wanna be, I want everything  
-- I wanted everything, everything_

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

In… Out… In… Out…

Usually, this would have annoyed her, especially the weight against her back from his body, his arm around her waist, and the hand that was cupping her breast. She rolled her eyes; leave it to Crews to cop a feel while asleep.

But at this second, her partner feeling her up wasn't the most important thing on her mind: the pressing matter of her bladder was.

Carefully, she grasped his hand and lifted it slowly while she tried to roll out from under his arm. As soon she had most of her body to the edge of the bed, a groan was issued from the man beside her and she felt herself being pulled back against his body. "It's freezing: where do you think you're going?"

She smiled, not that he would ever know, as he encircled her waist and burrowed his nose into her hair. "Crews, unless you want an embarrassing accident to happen, you might want to let me up."

Groaning, he loosened his grip on her and she was finally able to slip out of the bed.

Moments later, after flushing the toilet and washing her hands, she finally looked at herself in the mirror: she looked like hell. Her hair was frizzy and curlier than normal, which made the strands stick out at odd angles. There were dark rings under her puffy, red-streaked eyes that stood out against her too pale skin. And to top it off, her shirt was stained with – she sniffed at the yellow stain – bourbon.

She needed a shower.

Anything to make her feel clean again.

To make her feel in control.

Walking to the bathroom door, she opened it and stuck her head out into the bedroom. "Cre –," she stopped suddenly when she saw that he was fast asleep.

Opening the door more, she stood there self-consciously. She was in her partner's bedroom, having spent the night with him after he saved her from a night of debauchery, in only her shirt, bra, and panties… This was a new situation for her; not really the next-morning aspect with little clothing on, more on along the lines of having said partner snoring lightly in the Californian-king mattress in front of her.

Finally, Reese let her instincts take over and she walked over to his closet. Trying the handle she found it wasn't locked.

Pushing the door open, she walked in and immediately found a huge collection of button up shirts and built in drawers and cabinets. She ruffled through his shirts for a few moments till she saw a charcoal one at the end of the rack and grabbed it. For some reason, the shirt seemed to stick out of the mass collection of colors.

Turning to leave, she saw an alcove at the end of the huge walk-in. Moving towards it, she noticed case file boxes lining the back wall, which had the pockmarked look of one that had been littered with tacks. She kneeled next to the boxes and picked the top of one of them off. She knew she shouldn't pry into Crew's personal life, not that he wasn't prone to doing the same to her, but these were official L.A.P.D. case files. This could be a breach of police procedure, again something her partner had a knack for.

The box was empty.

And so were the other three.

Sighing, Dani grabbed the shirt and then proceeded to look for socks and perhaps a pair of boxers. Once, she had found the elusive items in the drawers built into the wall, she exited the closet and made sure Crews was still asleep before she continued with her plan to take a shower.

_-- Your eyes, never close your eyes  
-- And open up your mind_

Half an hour later, clad in her partner's shirt, boxers, and socks, she opened the door to his bathroom to find… Him.

Dani gasped as she jumped slightly, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to finish." He flashed her that nauseating smile of his and moved to go around her into the bathroom; stopping only when she laid a hand on his arm.

"Thanks." She didn't look at him but shrugged instead and gestured to the bathroom and to the bed, "For everything." She prayed that her voice didn't give her away, then again this was Charlie Crews and he had a knack for seeing in between the lines.

Especially when it came to him.

"Not a problem; we're partners." Her eyes rose to his as he pointed to the bed. "Get some more rest, you deserve it."

With that, he shut the door lightly in her face as she stood there staring at the off-orange of his door. She deserved rest? Reese had never felt like she had deserved anything that had been handed to her, whether good or bad… But then Crews had come into her life with his damn Zen and she had started to see how much she could have; started to see that she was worth his care.

His affection.

Walking towards the massive bed, she stopped and let her eyes trace patterns in the comforter.

That was it, wasn't it? That's why she felt so out of place, here with him. Crews was giving her affection. It was concept that had long become foreign to her.

Affection.

Her mother had given that to her once upon a time. Before her father destroyed what was best in the woman; taking what was most important to her and teaching her to be ashamed instead of proud of her heritage.

Affection.

Then he had given it; the only man who she had ever given her heart. They had loved since the first moment they had met; and it had survived through all the hardships only to end with him blowing his brains out while she watched on in drug-induced hysteria.

Now Crews was giving her that same attention. He was starting to give a damn about her and for what, this foreign concept of 'partners?' What scared her more, was that she craved everything he gave to her… Like a new drug.

Crews was her new drug; her new need. As annoying as he was; she was starting to want him around. She was starting to look forward to see that disgustingly bright smile when she picked him up for a shift.

Good god, she had finally gone insane.  
_  
-- Oh and baby you can have everything  
-- Your eyes, never close your eyes_

Suddenly, a hand appeared on her shoulder, squeezing her out of her mental wanderings. "You okay?"

Brown met blue, as she answered, "No, but…" She looked down again.

"What?"

"I have no idea."

His head fell to one side; then he went over to the side of the bed and proceeded to climb under the covers. Dani's eyebrow arched, "What are you doing?"

"It's my day off." He pointed at her, "And yours too."

She felt a grin tug at her lips but fought it back into a frown as she sighed and climbed up onto the bed. Soon, she was settled back under the covers with her eyes boring into the ceiling.

They laid there for a while, the quiet, for once, atmosphere letting Dani's mind wander to that day when the packs of heroin had exploded onto her; thus leading Crews to help her wash it off. She remembered the way his arms had gone around her when he had picked her up; how his hands had gripped her shoulders as she desperately rubbed herself clean. Funny how the one of the most horrifying experiences of her life still had a bright spot. Even more funny, was that the bright spot would have been Crews' comforting presence.

As if the memories had unlocked a secret within her, her eyes drifted down to the shirt she was wearing. Reese now knew why she had felt drawn towards it; it was the one he had been wearing that day…

Her life was just full of irony when it came to this partnership.

"You're going to be okay, Dani."

She closed her eyes as her mental wanderings came to a stop at the sound of his whispered statement and turned to face him. She waited a few seconds then she opened them to find his blue ones staring back at her.

"I'm not so sure about that."

Not breaking eye contact, she felt his body close the distance between them until one of his legs tangled with her own leg, causing there to be mere inches between their torsos. Her eyebrows rose but she didn't say anything, just waited for his response.

"A broken mirror never reflects again; fallen flowers never go back to the old branches."

She stared at him for second and then started to move away, but was stopped when a hand grasped at her waist. "Don't go."

Dani searched his face but found no malice; his words had hurt her, but the pain caused had not been intentional.

She listened.

"Your problem is that you want to return to your old life, but Dani, that's impossible." The hand on her waist applied pressure and she herself be moved back to her original position before she had pulled away. "Too much has happened to you; you've seen too much." They stared at each other until he looked away and said quietly, "I wish I could go back, but it doesn't work like that, Dani."

His gazed locked on hers again, "I know, I've tried too."

"So what do we do? Just move on."

"I think so." He raised his shoulder in a kind of awkward shrug. "But there's a difference now."

She felt herself gravitate towards him, "And what would that be?"

Reese saw his eyes waver and settle on her lips before lifting back to hers. "Maybe we just need someone who understands what hell really is."

She was now so close to his lips, that she could feel them when she moved hers, "We definitely know what hell is like." And with that, she moved her head and captured his lips with her own.

They laid there for a few moments, letting their mouths move against each other but never anything more. As they broke apart, Dani moved her head to rest against his bare chest and thought that maybe she could start to move past the events of the last few years now.

Maybe this man, who had annoyed her and seemed to actually enjoying driving her towards insanity, was the savior she hadn't even been aware she had been looking for.

Or maybe, he was a broken man like she a broken woman. Two people who knew what the bowels of humanity existence were like and had survived, more or less, intact.

She took in a deep breath and let the world disappear slowly. Nothing was certain, she could be using again by tomorrow night or he could fall completely off the deep end… But she knew in this moment, she was safe and so was he.

'Partner' was just another word for someone who you trusted to watch your back, no matter what.

_-- And open up your mind  
-- Oh and baby, you can have everything_

So... What'd you think? Leave a note. Also, tell me if you want this to continue... I would love to evolve this story into a sequal (short, like this one was), especially once the season is over.


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